Trump Trash Can

Exactly what it sounds like. I think this could sell very well in Latin America (especially in Mexico) where most toilets throughout the entire region cannot flush paper. So, you wad up used toilet paper and put it in a covered trash can next to the toilet.

What trash can could be better for the purpose?

P.S. Garbage man. Garbage man. Does whatever a garbage can.

P.P.S. I’m not asking that anyone send money. I just think it’s funny.

De Niro Wants to Punch Drumpf in the Face, But Insults Animals Instead

Robert De Niro would like to punch Donald J. Drumpf in the face, a worthy goal indeed. But, disturbingly, he insults animals by comparing them to Drumpf in the process of telling us why he’d like to punch the Donald.

The World As Seen Through the Eyes of a Trump Voter

The Official “Fun Vs. Effort” Graph of Pets

Personally, I think both horses and dragons need to shift a bit left. I highly doubt that horses or dragons really require as much effort as babies. After all, who puts money away to save for the horse’s or dragon’s college education?

Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

Courtesy of The Onion

Republican Polar Bears Stop Climate Research

Much like middle class Americans voting Republican, polar bears in Russia are acting against their own self-interest. In this case, they are attempting to stop climate scientists from doing their jobs. </snark>

Polar bears ambush and surround scientists in Russia

People with no kids don’t know

He’s right. We don’t. And, some of us are very glad about that. Here’s Michael McIntyre confirming my more minor reasons for not wanting kids. Other more major reasons include not wanting them to grow up in our collapsing world, not wanting to pass on my diabetes, not wanting to further overpopulate the planet, etc.

Holy Shit!! Literally. How to Persuade an Atheist to Become Christian. Yeah. Right.

I can’t believe people actually think like this. What a load of horseshit! Holy horseshit, that is. This is actually a serious page with step-by-step instructions for trying to convince atheists to become Christian.

This will convince no one! <== Click this for laughs.

How to Persuade an Atheist to Become Christian: Provide evidence. Hard scientific evidence.

Then, when you’re done with that, be prepared to convince that former atheist that your god is worthy of worship rather than contempt.

Good luck!

Flow Charts — Time to Geek Out

I couldn’t resist posting this comic. Guess I really am a geek.

Click here for larger image, courtesy of xkcd.com

No One Should Have The Right To Die Until God Is Done Toying With Them

A new classic from The Onion. Yes. I know I said new classic.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/no-one-should-have-the-right-to-die-until-god-is-d,37418/

Fuck! – (Do I need to add NSFW for language?)

This is infuckingcredible.

Thanks Rodnikov for emailing me this.

Woo Hoo!! Westboro Batshit Crazies Commit Suicide

Who ever thought that getting rid of the Westboro Batshits would be as simple as offering them a free ride to Iraq to protest against ISIS? Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of inDUHviduals! Can you say “natural selection”?

This Should Go Well: Westboro Baptist Church Says It’s Going To Iraq To Protest ISIS

Self-Delusion: The Key To Happiness

Warning: This Dilbert comic may not be safe for your brain. If you already have suicidal tendencies, I would strongly recommend that you click away, far away and very quickly.

On the other hand, I had a coworker at the time this strip came out (2001) whose response was, “Cool!! Now I have a goal.”

Source: http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2001-02-15/

Wordification: Fundalentilist (noun)

I’m creating a new word. Let’s see if it takes off.

Fundalentilist: (noun)
1. A human being who thinks with an organ of the size and complexity of a single lentil bean, a living dal.

Note that a young earth fundalentilist only has half a lentil and is twice as dangerous.

Given a Time Machine, When Would You Go?

The when in the title means to what time period would you go, not how soon you would leave the present. I’m using when with respect to time travel the same way one might use where when taking about space travel.

Natural Selection: 2 Faith: 0 — Walk on Water? Fail. Lion’s Den? Fail.

I will be the first to admit that there are intelligent people of faith. These two shall not be numbered among them.

Pastor Tries to Walk on Water Like Jesus, Then Drowns in Front of His Congregation

Maher: U.S. Christians have traded Christ’s values for philosophy of ‘Fuck off and die’

A great video from Bill Maher.

Has anyone actually seen these phony $10 bills? note that if these fake $10 bills are close enough to fool anyone for a second, they’re probably illegal. They must legally be not only one-sided, as these are, but must also be either smaller than 75% or greater than 150% of the size of actual money.

I’d love it if these are close enough to get the shitheads that made them arrested for counterfeiting.

http://www.newmoney.gov/currency/regulations.htm

Climate Name Change

Dancing Baby Stingrays, Too Cute Not To Post

I just had to post this. These guys are too cute for words. Anyone know what the “feet” really are and why stingrays have ’em? I don’t.

Enjoy.

Fun Fact: Humans are Deuterostomes

Of course, some people never get past this phase. Others probably think that of me. But, I’m the kind of asshole who doesn’t give a shit about those assholes.