No One Should Have The Right To Die Until God Is Done Toying With Them

A new classic from The Onion. Yes. I know I said new classic.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/no-one-should-have-the-right-to-die-until-god-is-d,37418/

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10 Responses to No One Should Have The Right To Die Until God Is Done Toying With Them

  1. Rodnikov Magilovich says:

    What utter bull shit!
    That is a presumption that I don’t own my own life! Just because it happened that I had no choice in the matter of my conception and birth, does not mean that I should not own my life and have the option to end it at my own discretion!
    And this other bull shit about heaven and hell is another crock of crap! We don’t know what is there beyond the extinction of our biological computer or where it down loads to if it does!
    It is an extension of democracy to permit one to choose when and where to extinguish ones own existence!

  2. Um … Rod??!!? It’s The Onion. It’s humor. If there is a real message behind the humor, it’s that the rhetoric for not allowing death with dignity is really as silly as this humor piece.

  3. Accremonious says:

    Onion? More like a Garlic Clove!
    ha ha

  4. Eric Heathens says:

    I can see the humor in this piece, but what I also gather from it is another’s willingness to have control over your life as ,Rodnikov, has implied.

    That’s very nice, Scott, and thanks for sharing it.

  5. Eric,

    The way I see this piece is that the satire points to the way others want to have control over our lives based on their religious views and, using humor, points out that we really do have a right to death with dignity. Not to believe so, the way this article frames things, is to believe that God has His right to play cat and mouse with you until He is bored of the game, puts you out of your misery, and moves on to another mouse.

    This would be a god who is mean and vindictive and very definitely not worthy of worship.

    So, in my view, this article does a good job of advocating death with dignity.

    For my part, I find this the most uplifting song I know. I know the lyrics by heart. I’m not kidding on either point. The idea that I have control, that I can “cheat” and “lay it down before I’m beat” is empowering. When I decide life is no longer better than the alternative, I can make that decision.

    • Eric Heathens says:

      Awe, that was awesome! Thanks so much. If I may ask, is that the theme from “Mash?” Thanks Scott.

      • Yup. Theme from M*A*S*H with lyrics. On the TV show, they never played the lyrics. I guess they thought suicide was not going to get a lot of viewers. In the movie, there was one scene where they sang the song while someone committed suicide (sort of).

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