Wordification: Fundalentilist (noun)

April 2, 2014

I’m creating a new word. Let’s see if it takes off.

Fundalentilist: (noun)
1. A human being who thinks with an organ of the size and complexity of a single lentil bean, a living dal.

Note that a young earth fundalentilist only has half a lentil and is twice as dangerous.

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Given a Time Machine, When Would You Go?

March 30, 2014

The when in the title means to what time period would you go, not how soon you would leave the present. I’m using when with respect to time travel the same way one might use where when taking about space travel.

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Natural Selection: 2 Faith: 0 — Walk on Water? Fail. Lion’s Den? Fail.

January 5, 2014

I will be the first to admit that there are intelligent people of faith. These two shall not be numbered among them.

Pastor Tries to Walk on Water Like Jesus, Then Drowns in Front of His Congregation

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How to Invent a God

December 11, 2013

A Mind is a Terrible Thing – Or What My Brain Just Farted Out

November 21, 2013

For reasons that I cannot even begin to understand, my brain sent a hypothetical Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup back to the 1950s. When my brain brought it back to the present time, it was singing:

Who put the ram in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the bop in the ram a lam a ding dong?

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Maher: U.S. Christians have traded Christ’s values for philosophy of ‘Fuck off and die’

November 9, 2013

A great video from Bill Maher.

Has anyone actually seen these phony $10 bills? note that if these fake $10 bills are close enough to fool anyone for a second, they’re probably illegal. They must legally be not only one-sided, as these are, but must also be either smaller than 75% or greater than 150% of the size of actual money.

I’d love it if these are close enough to get the shitheads that made them arrested for counterfeiting.


My Halloween Costume is Scarier

October 31, 2013

For this Halloween, I’m going dressed as the scariest monster in the roughly half-billion year history of multicellular life on this planet. I’m not including a picture of the costume. I’ll leave that to the imagination of the reader.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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Climate Name Change

August 28, 2013

Subway Panhandler Pranks the Whole Car

August 8, 2013

Dancing Baby Stingrays, Too Cute Not To Post

July 23, 2013

I just had to post this. These guys are too cute for words. Anyone know what the “feet” really are and why stingrays have ‘em? I don’t.


Fun Fact: Humans are Deuterostomes

June 11, 2013

Of course, some people never get past this phase. Others probably think that of me. But, I’m the kind of asshole who doesn’t give a shit about those assholes.

God Is Too Busy To Stop Wars & Starvation

February 4, 2013

At last, we finally know why God is too busy to stop wars and solve hunger. It’s not just because He is too busy creating droughts, floods, extreme storms, wildfires, and all the rest. It’s because he’s busy interfering in the fair competitions of sporting events. Instead of allowing sporting events to remain fair, the Lord God Ruler of the Universe feels the need to get involved on the field and choose the winner.

At least, a quarter of Americans feel that this is what He is doing.

Poll: Quarter of Americans say God influences sporting events

Why can’t humans dream up a god who is superior to us? What’s the point of creating an imaginary friend to whom one can pray for the temporary suspension of the laws of physics if said imaginary friend is no better than we are?

For the record, count me among the small number who disapprove of the expressions of faith mentioned in the article. I disapprove for the same reason I disapprove of thanking god for rain after a drought. Why not blame god for the drought in the first place?

Lady Pens; Lady Weights; Lady Cars — WTF?!

February 1, 2013

What the fuck is going on these days? Women, why are you allowing this? Why are these products selling? Is this all part of the repugnican war on women? Are women now allowing themselves to be subjugated in the way that repugnicans want, even down to the products they buy?

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FAX Humor: Islands and Service — NSFW!

October 18, 2012

This is the tenth installment in my FAX Humor series. This is also likely to be the last for a while.

Now we can see why full-service costs a bit more.

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FAX Humor: Understanding the Technology

October 18, 2012

This is the ninth installment in my FAX Humor series. Since this one is safe for work, I’ll skip the “more” tag that requires clicking to see the image.

Click to enlarge.

FAX Humor: Ceiling Fans — NSFW!

October 15, 2012

This is the eighth installment in my FAX Humor series.

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Repugnican Anti-Choice Asshole is Pro-Choice When It’s His Bastard

October 11, 2012

Did I get enough shock value in that headline? I certainly hope so.

Scott DesJarlais, Pro-Life Republican Congressman And Doctor, Pressured Mistress Patient To Get Abortion

One could debate the ethics of a doctor having an affair with a patient. The answer is likely that it depends on the case. No one is suggesting that this case was anything but consensual. In this case though, it’s just a start. This shithead then went on to pressure the woman he impregnated to have an abortion. IMNSHO, women should be free to make that choice on their own without undue influence. But, that’s not bad enough. This Republican member of congress claims that abortion is murder. He fights against abortion rights. Well, he does unless it’s his illegitimate fetus.

Can one get any more hypocritical than this? Is it possible?

FAX Humor: No. You can’t touch it. — NSFW

October 10, 2012

This is the seventh installment in my FAX Humor series. This is another early one that I received from my wife.

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FAX Humor: Mating Elephants — NSFW

October 8, 2012

This is the sixth installment in my FAX Humor series. At the time, this felt particularly relevant to a defense contractor. It probably still does.

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FAX Humor: My Buddies — NSFW!

October 5, 2012

This is the fifth installment in my FAX Humor series. I’ve got nothing to add to this.

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