Clickhole Says: All Religions Are Beautiful — Satire

For any who are unaware, Clickhole is a recent spinoff from The Onion.

30 Responses to Clickhole Says: All Religions Are Beautiful — Satire

  1. Rodnikov Magilovich says:

    All religion is self deception! And since it is so common, I again state that our species should be named Homo stupidous!

    • Hi Rod,

      I mostly agree.

      Humanism and the original form of Buddhism as advocated by Siddhartha Gautama might be exceptions. But then, they’re really just graceful life philosophies filling in as religion for people who need one, IMHO.

      — Scott

  2. ECA says:

    Religion for a replacement over what WAS..religion to give a BASE for groups to gather. Which isnt a bad thing.
    To many groups with their OWN ideas…and trying to bring them to gether is NOT BAD..
    its just how FAR they are going with it.
    Esp how far MEN…have taken it. the tribal mentality keeps coming back. Even tho most religions and beliefs say to BE NICE..we keep shooting each other.

    Forget learning about SELF(few beliefs do this). Forget learning about the human condition(few understand this). BLAME others for your OWN FAULTS..(to many do this) Blame some ODD person/creature/God for something you dont understand…(TO many to count do this). Thinking some person/being has all the answers(it cant be true) the priest has all the answer…STUPID.

    • Eric Heathens says:

      You can also say the purpose of religion is to absolve you of all guilt when praying. Not to mention you can blame the dark one.

      “It wasn’t me…the devil made me do it. ”

      I know, I know. How obvious.

  3. ECA,

    Most religions are pretty clear that be nice applies only to Us never to Them, or at least always Us first.


    Sauron made me do it. But, to be fair, Morgoth made him make me do it.

  4. ECA says:

    Start with tribes, and 1 person wishes to group them..Then you look at others and TRY to get them to join, and they dont..
    Unless the Top people can get along, its a war of a sort..and the Large group keeps taking the little groups, or killing them..
    They gather only under fundamental rules, that they all agree..

    The problem is its mostly MEN making the rules.

    MAny tribes Shared the rules..male and female. whats the interesting part, is that Most of it has only been from the last 2000 years.
    Before SOME odd time, MEN understood it was better to get along with women. SHARE problems and ideas..share solutions..

    • Eric Heathens says:

      Yes, but I’ve seen women become just as corrupt as men. They may share some ideas to better improve society, but we are still governed by men for the most part, and still under the same rules of men.

      Cheating the citizenry has always been their top priority. And we are taught to do so. Cheat….

      • ECA says:

        WELL, yes..
        but that is very recent. The only way for a women to get respect was to act like a MAN..before WWII, they REALLY didnt like women working.. WII forced women to work, as the MEN were fighting. And there was no money coming in.

        But consider something important here..
        A few laws were past to cover something.
        Child labor…
        retirement age..
        Take a couple million kids out of the fields…give those jobs to who?
        RETIRE people Early, as most worked till they DIED..

        What happened..Automation took over for kids, and more people loosing jobs at 40-50..(cuts social security, which is based on last 10 years of work)

        These were designed to get more jobs. they could not designate (after women suffrage) that women go back to the Kitchens..

        In the past, on farms 2 things HAD do the jobs. And in the OLD days many women died in child birth. it was a much higher percentage then now.. In the early 1900’s the chance I kid would get to 12 years old, wasnt very good. so farmers had a few Extra kids..

      • Eric Heathens says:

        Thanks for the info, ECA, that’s some things I didn’t even know about. But I know that capitalism doesn’t work for the good of all in society, and should be revamped.

  5. ECA says:
    It all comes to the “Im right, youre WRONG” attitude..

    And that gets instilled in people at the beginning. When they are younger.
    it generally dont take much to TEACh people to be nice, as long as people are willing to listen on BOTH SIDES..

    I DO, believe that chatting on the net can help people as long as they arnt being IDIOTS..

  6. I do agree that women should be a far greater force than they have made of themselves at present in the U.S. Given the current war on women, it’s surprising that women aren’t fighting back in huge numbers.

    Certainly, women can be as corrupt as men. But, if we look at the differences between chimps and bonobos (our two closest living relatives), we can imagine some of the changes that might occur.

    In chimps, the society is led by the males. Issues of power and sex are resolved using violence. In bonobos, society is led by females. Issues of violence and power are resolved using sex.

    Chimps are every bit as violent as we are. They’re just not as good at it.

    There has never been a recorded case of lethal bonobo-bonobo violence either in the wild or in captivity.

    I’m not sure how well I’d adapt to being bisexual, as all bonobos are. But, it might be worth a try. Our current setup isn’t doing very well for us. And, what could be hotter than being led around by a bunch of bisexual empowered women?

  7. ECA says:

    how many left of the old group from cage match?

  8. ECA says:

    For along time, “Might is right” ruled this world, and still does..but I see more problems solved with people Talking. there is more to it..

    Iv talked to a person in the Slum/poor/black area in a major metro..and made a strange suggestion. Collect $1 for anyone to invest, and start buying up ALL the property. Collect minor rents to keep it going, and it wouldnt take long to BUY up all the properties.

    Getting closed groups to START their own, would show MEN that things change. Get women to start their OWN organizations and companies and corps..Take over an area, and DO BETTER..

    The problem comes with MONEY. Corps pay for nothing. And the Male oriented group would just walk in and BUY IT, and make it part of their Own..then over charge everyone.

    yes this is a weird comment.
    I would love to go back to a farming based society..

  9. I wouldn’t want to go to a farming based society, at least not one that is any more farming based than today’s. In fact, today’s is over the top. The so-called green revolution just meant we learned how to eat petroleum and natural gas in the form of industrial fertilizers.

    That was a mistake.

    That little mistake on the part of Fritz Haber created 40% of the world’s population and resulted in even more overpopulation, overtaxed the Ogallala Aquifer, and has eroded half the top soil in America’s bread basket (the midwest).

    Now, we’re at a point where we have over 7 billion people and growing on a planet that has already passed peak food production.

    We cannot have infinite growth on a finite planet.

    I don’t mean to say it’s a bad idea. I’m saying it’s a physical impossibility that cannot and will not be supported indefinitely.

    We need to have a serious conversation about, at the very minimum:

    1. Overpopulation
    2. Climate change
    3. Ocean acidification
    4. An economic system that allows for a steady state
    5. An economic system that does not allow for externalities

    I’m sure I can come up with more. But, that’s a good enough start.

    • Eric Heathens says:

      I have no children and don’t want any. I too think that the mankind is on a fast track to destroy himself, so I too am a misanthrope. At one time I did want children, but I wouldn’t want children in such a cruel world.

      They will do everything they can to keep their wealth and prestige. They have a behemoth union on their side, and is why there will be no changes.

      I do agree with what you say though.

  10. Eric, just for the record, my personal misanthropy does not stem from what we do to ourselves. I hate humanity for what we do to the many other sentiences with whom we share this planet.

    Other than that, we’re in agreement.

    • Eric Heathens says:

      Scott, I hate not just what humanity does with each other, but more to the point of dictation under the guise of progress without regard for all other life on the plant. I have seen the devastating effects of mankind that has an effect that is destroying the biosphere, and it sickens me.

      I am but a humble man that really thinks that people matter, but the dementia that humans have shown for their own ends have left a bitter taste, and is painful to me.

      I wish we as a species would just get it over with and come to our end of existence.

      I’m sorry for my ramblings.

      • I need a like button on my blog.

        Like. Like like like. Like.

      • Eric Heathens says:

        Thanks man.
        I just say things from the heart. But, the inevitable fact remains true with regards to the way we treat other life in general. … we kill it…..

        ….and this is why I feel that we don’t deserve our own.

  11. ECA says:

    There are only 3 countries that can GROW more then they can eat..
    If you can get CORPS out of the Agri business..Using any form to make more money…Farming base is a good idea. Farming should LEAD the country. Farmers should get the BASE of most money. The FARMER should be the one to EXPORT, not the corps.

    I decided long ago, after I was given some basic info about my handicap, that I would NOT desire a child to have a chance of Carrying my conditions. Then thru time, being a realist and I love watching humanity(idiots and assholes, ALL) I learned much and acknowledged my concerns about Not having children.

    My concerns tend to be BASIC LOGIC, and nothing more. I try not to make things Complicated. but, whats happened in the USA started years ago, After Lincoln, They discovered how people relate to an election. And started backing people THEY wanted running, on All levels of Politics, County, state, federal..
    Iv seen many things happen in the USA, since I was born. and 90% of it was FORCED by banks and corps.. Farms sold in the 70’s, for no reason except farmers couldnt make money..which is stupid. Wars since 1880, for no REAL reasons..

    i could go on, but its all in the past…And correcting most of this would be Soo much fun..

    • Eric Heathens says:

      My god. … I knew that we were on a downward spiral, but i had no idea. Although I have hear a few people speak of how our government leaders are propped up by corporate sponsors, but I wasn’t aware of things being this bad.
      Thank you, ECA, and you Scott of course.

      • ECA says:

        Mis- and I and a few others from the past, have been talking about lots of this for years. And this information is on the surface of most of history and even on Youtube.
        What I posted above, is nothing. I know a couple, thats abit paranoid..and I try to Sooth them about things. and they THINK, a certain way.. So I had to give them some information, and drew it from youtube. Unless you wish to pay good money, a Door lock isnt worth 2cents. Love those computer locks, with a KEY BYPASS.. WHY have buttons, when all you need is a KEY.

        they wanted a Camera system, to cover their property. So I explained the Good and BAD about cameras, and recording the Data..(if you want abit of knowledge ask)

        If you REALLY want to know abit about history and whats happening, we can tell you what we have learned, but you better be willing to HIDE in a 20′ deep bunker.
        The PROBLEM? if we could Prove it, we could goto court(20 years ago we could of, NOW we cant) and MIGHT correct things.

      • Eric Heathens says:

        I don’t watch that much news anymore, due to it being laden with conservative commentary. I’m not interested in the bias of corporate conservative talk (propped by our conservative blowhard government) that attacks even movie stars that aren’t in line with their Christian corporate rants. Ridiculous.

        I am, however, somewhat new to the blogger sphere, YouTube and the like because this is the first good phone I’ve had, being how my old one didn’t even have Internet, and, of course with the addition of one computer I had, but it died years ago. So, I can’t help but being sort of having a touch of ignorance on many topics. … but believe me when I say that your information is very appreciated.

        Thanks for the reply ECA.

      • Eric,

        You might like Mother Jones. They’re far from mainstream. They won’t replace all other news sources. But, they will give you unbiased (to my ear) news. You can also like them on FaceSchnook.

        You can also try other online sources like the BBC and The Guardian, both from the U.K. but with U.S. pages.

        Of course, they also have world coverage.

      • Eric Heathens says:

        Thanks Scott for the recommendations. They tend to be less bias than the typical (slant to the right) from American news corporations.

        Ours have turned into a joke.

  12. ECA says:

    I love listening to foreign news, when I can get it..
    Its great to get a different side to a story.
    Its like SONY in the news now. there are a TON of facts they arnt mentioning. like HOW a server WORKS, in logging Data in/out and names and even locations. And what a sysop is, and is SUPPOSED to do.. as well as HOW much time has passed and Sony didnt do anything. which means the hackers got nothing that they were concerned about. but we have to BLAME…
    It might as well be a witch hunt in the Early years..

    • Eric Heathens says:

      Is that right? Good god…I had no idea how all that works, but I’ll take your word for it. I was never schooled in such things, but I do find it interesting. Thanks ECA…

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