I especially love sentences with definitions that really make the point. Here are a couple of my favorites and some other quips that I like for other reasons, sometimes shock value.
- In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.
- In theory, there’s no difference between theory and practice, but in practice, there often is.
- Mammals suck. Cetaceans blow. [ed. note: The former is mine. The latter was added by a friend. Thanks rit.]
- American Nonsequitur Society: We don’t make sense. But, we love pizza.
I also like stuff that makes people wonder if they heard you correctly.
- When spelling a word with the letter N, consider stating N, as in Nary. (Yes, there is a reason that people were so careful when choosing the radio code words for the various letters of the alphabet. Thanks to Rick for this one. I’ve enjoyed it repeatedly.)
- Try throwing in the word automagically to describe any complex automated process.
Another favorite class of quips I like to use is the deliberately mixed or backwards metaphor. Here are a few of my commonly used examples:
- We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.
- Let’s burn one bridge at a time.
- I like a computer language that gives me enough rope to shoot myself in the foot.
- Don’t throw out perfectly good water just ’cause there’s a dirty baby in it.
- GOD is REAL … unless declared INTEGER. (Makes sense only to those who still remember FORTRAN.)
- (while biting into a ham sandwich or such) Mmm. I like pork ’cause it tastes like people.
- (as a form of grace before a meal) Food is good. Thank you food for dying so we could eat.
I’ll probably add more of these as I think of them. Given that some are just for the fun of shock value, I doubt anyone will like all of these. If, like me, you did like them all, you’re pretty twisted and possibly a bit on the sick side.