Bush Shatters 2000 Year Old Record

December 20, 2007

Biblical scholars agree that Samson killed 1,000 people with the jawbone of an ass. This number has stood the test of time, being uncontested until the present day. In 1997, the The Guinness Book of Records recognized Samson’s triumph with an entry in the book. Today, no weapons of mass destruction have been discovered in Iraq. Intelligence reports show a decreased level of safety from terrorism in the U.S. since the war began. The current death toll since 2003 in the Iraq war is 28,629 Americans and 78,743 – 85,813 Iraqis, or well over 100,000. This week, no longer in book form, Guinness World Records has recognized President Bush‘s prowess in shattering the two millennia old death toll record by two orders of magnitude using exactly the same weapon.