I was recently surprised. I had what I thought were two original thoughts about Noah’s Ark. I googled both and found that I was far from the first to think of either, of course. But, there is a sub-thought to my second thought that does appear to be somewhat original.
The first thought I had was regarding the fish tanks that must have existed on Noah’s Ark if evolution is not to be believed. See, the fresh water fish would not survive in salt water when all the waters of the world mix. And, the salt water fish would not survive the dramatically reduced salinity when so much rainwater is added to the great global ocean. So, there must have been fish tanks on Noah’s Ark. Further, as the water evaporated back into space, since it’s clearly not here anymore, Noah must have been putting each of the freshwater fish species back into the appropriate lake. That must have been a fun task.
BTW, the Grand Canyon was not created by the receding flood waters because water flows downhill. When all of the water is at the same level, it can only evaporate, as noted before, into space. Good luck explaining that. Maybe God drank the extra water.
The second thought I had was about the rate of rainfall. This too has gotten quite a bit of attention. I will do my own calculations here as mine do not seem to match any of the others I found online. But, this is that sub-thought regarding the rate of rainfall that may truly be a first.
God waterboarded Noah.
Let’s look at that rainfall rate first. The water had to cover Mount Everest. Assuming that the water level was the same before and after the flood as it is today since fundamentalist believers do not seem to believe in climate change or sea level rise, that means that the water level to cover Mount Everest had to be 8,848 m (29,029 ft) higher than today. And, the increase took place purely due to rainfall over 40 consecutive 24 hour periods (i.e. 40 days and 40 nights).
So, in 960 hours or 57,600 minutes or 3,456,000 seconds, the water had to rise by 8,848 meters or 29,029 feet. That’s 9.22 meters per hour or 15.36 centimeters per minute or 2.5 millimeters per second. Or, for those stupid Americans like me who still think in the British system, that’s 30.24 feet per hour or 6.05 inches per minute or a tad over a tenth of an inch a second.
When we have a heavy downpour, we get a couple of inches in the course of hours. This is more than an order of magnitude faster rainfall than the heaviest downpour ever. This would probably be like standing under a major waterfall or being hosed down with a fire hose. Were Noah or any of the animals to go out on deck, they’d probably drown.
So, did God waterboard Noah? It seems like it.
Further, no image I’ve ever seen or description I’ve ever read showed the ark having a roof over the whole deck. So, as the rain poured onto the deck faster than the fastest bilge pump could ever pump it out, the boat quickly filled up with water and sank.
So, it would seem that we are all dead now.
Or, at least we are just as dead as we would be from the story of Genesis in the first place. Adam and Eve had two sons. The End.